What’s your favorite subject? What do you want to be when you grow up?
Those are pretty common questions. They’re also questions that seem like they should be easy to answer. Of course you know what you like to do…right?
Not necessarily. And that’s okay!
Here’s a secret I learned after years of high school and college and graduate school and working: very few people have any idea what they really like to do. Even adults. And only the very, very luck have found a way to do what they like best every day—whether as a job or a hobby.
So how do you become one of the lucky ones?
Here’s the bad news: it really does require a lot of luck.
That’s a secret I learned from talking to published writers and famous professors and professional musicians, and all the other people who did things I thought were cool: almost all of them, no matter how successful, got to where they were through luck.
Not just luck, of course. There’s a lot of hard work and dedication involved, too. But luck is a little like the sugar in an apple pie: leave it out, and it’s just not quite what you were looking for.
Ask someone how they got their job as a New York Times journalist or working for a virtual reality company or playing in the Boston Symphony Orchestra, and you’ll likely hear a story that goes like this: Well, I was trying to do X, but then I found out about Y and loved that more. And then I happened to meet so-and-so, and one thing led to another. And now I’m here!
All of the people I talked to explained that the path they took was completely unplanned. They happened to meet someone who told them about an audition. Their next door neighbor was a potter who taught them as a favor. They picked a book at random at the library that changed their life.
After the fact, the paths people take to success can seem like destiny. But while they’re happening, there are twists and turns that feel a lot like stops and backtracking. It’s only after you make it to the destination that it was clear you were actually making progress.
So, how do you figure out what you love, and then find a way to do it?
Step one is trying lots of new things. Read books and articles on subjects you don’t know anything about. Take classes on new things. Listen to podcasts and watch TV shows. When you find something that interests you, dig in!
Step two is working hard. Once you find the thing you like doing, practice, practice, practice. Whether it’s soccer, robotics, violin, or anything in between, you can’t get around the practice.
Step three is staying flexible. If you stop enjoying something you used to love, don’t be afraid to move on to something else. It’s okay to outgrow something. It’s also okay to take a little break, and then go back to it later.
And that brings us to step four: pay attention to what’s making you happy and what isn’t. Sometimes, it’s true, you have to do things that aren’t a lot of fun because it’ll make things better later on. But you also have to be brave enough to make a change if something isn’t working. And the only way to make that decision is to be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling.
Lastly—and frustratingly—you have to get some lucky breaks.
But here’s another secret: a lot of times, what seems like luck is actually steps one through four paying off.